we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
