I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
