Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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