You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
