I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
