I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
