I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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