I accidentally burped into my bong.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
