She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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