She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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