The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Fuck appropriateness.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
