do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
