Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
