You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
