Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
