so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
