NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
