Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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