hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
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