You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
