It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
