there was a trapeze. enough said
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
