Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize
