I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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