Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
