I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
