apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
