So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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