She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
