these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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