and next time when you feel me up, do it right
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Randomize