Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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