You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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