you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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