omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So gin and wine won't be happening again
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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