suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
