i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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