O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize
