Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
