How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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