from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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