Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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