Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
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