Small penises have feelings too.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
