tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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