We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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