i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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