How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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