i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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