I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
