you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize