why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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