Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
