I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Watching her eat just hurts me
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
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