big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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