This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
