Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
