hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I just blew my weed a kiss
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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