There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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