I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
