how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
