He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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