A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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