I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
We left an ass print on the piano.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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