Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
