I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
