and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
