Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
