Already got asked if we're dating
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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