Taylor Swift is so right about you.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
