so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
