a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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